Today was a day of many slipups and mistakes, little things that reminded me yet again of my own fallibility. I am far from perfect. I forget things. I left the house, only to double back to pick up the bag I left behind. I feel so stupid. Is it just an indication of more to come? I feel like I’m dancing with life, with two left feet, embarrassed as I dance this slow dance of unrequited love, all alone, wishing it was you I held tightly in my arms. Wishing you were here.
I cut myself and I bled for you. You saw the blood and did nothing. You heard me wince in pain and did nothing. As my life force trickled in red crimson droplets showing my human vulnerability, you did nothing. No words to console me. No remorse. No empathy. Nothing. You left me hanging as I walked away to find a band-aid to stem the flow. You abandoned me in my time of need, yet I hold no grudges. I’m not mad, I’m just sad, feeling bad, like you must be feeling the piercing hurt from my senseless acts and selfish moves.
Words strewn across the page at you, hoping to find a speck of concern. Crying out for your attention, like a teary-eyed babe growing hoarse crying for his mother’s milk. Oh how I wish you would take me back into your arms and suckle me in your bosom. How could I be so stupid to do those things that hurt you so. I am guilty, guilty as accused. I am sorry, but it was such a long time ago. Years and years in the past. They say time heal all wounds. How much time will it take? How much time do you need? Tell me, so I can hold onto a glimmer of hope that soon will come a brighter day. Maybe I can hold out until then.
I want to see you. I want to touch you. I want to kiss you. I want to fly high again on the cloud of happiness, well above these dark clouds of despair as I feel the pain of missing you. Reaching out as you move away, so far away, always missing you, never kissing you. Calling your name and never hearing back from you. Playing the fool for you. You leave me hanging. Do I deserve this? How long must I be punished for my sins?
Let me assure you one last time that if you can feel the friendly laughter that fills the air, the joy of happiness devoid of despair, if you can feel my vibes and join me in this motion picture, I will be here to play your leading man. I want the part and I will diligently play the part as I stare deeply into your eyes whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Telling you about the pleasurable delights that await you on this very day, all you have to do is open your heart in that special way. Say yes, you want to see me. Say yes, you want to be my friend. I am here, not far away, listening and waiting for my cue to brighten your day.
I am here. I can help you. I can feel you and console you, if only you will let me into your life. If only you could find it in your heart to give me a chance. A chance to show what I can do. A chance to show my love for you. Tell me what you want. Your wish is my command. I just want to please you. What is it I want most in life? To wait on you hand and foot. To serve you. To bring you joy and happiness. The joy I lost and hope to find.
Kiss me. Hold me. Hug me like no other. Give me a chance to show you what I can do for you. Let me into your life and let me touch you deeply as you touched me so deeply with the words of encouragement spoken with sincerity from your soft succulent lips. I may dance awkwardly with two left feet but when I hold you in my arms, I feel whole again, filled with courage as you make me complete. Everybody sees us together. We make the perfect couple. Two lost souls finding true happiness in each other’s arms, dancing to a tune of lofty goodness in our hearts, filled to overflowing with bliss from a lover’s kiss. All I need is your kiss and warm embrace to show me the way to a brighter day.