Your Smile

Today is a new day, a different day, the day when I tell you something I never told you before. I can’t help what I am about to say, sometimes the spirit moves me in this way. Isn’t that what spiritual partners are all about? Moved by the spirit to touch another’s soul. To uplift. To bring joy, happiness and all those good things in life we missed growing up? Do you feel me? I feel you?

 But today I feel something I never felt before. Like a blossoming rose spreading its tender petals in the morning light, I have something profound to say to you. As the sun peeks out through the distant clouds over the horizon, a glimmer of something you never thought existed, peers into your eyes and sparks a breath of life newly born. Oh, how I long to see your smile.

 Hold on. I’m not done making love to you let. Wait, there is more. As if in some infinite game of after play I’ve been stricken with that smile on your face, the face I last saw many moons ago. Was it in the video? Was it a skype call? I don’t remember. But it wasn’t a picture for sure. It was the crystal clear shot of your smile forever and indelibly frozen in my mind’s eye. Yes, I have a photographic memory, if only a selective memory, but I remember.

 I remember the black top you wore to attempt to hide your perky nipples and your life sized areolas. The blouse could not hide them as I let my imagination wonder. Like superman, I have xray vision too and I learned a long time ago how to undress you with my eyes. I saw you half naked, just before you slipped unclothed into bed with me. I will never forget that moment. Brain fried, these thoughts never laid to the side, I will forever be captivated by the nakedness of your intimacy. You trusted me once. Will you ever trust me again?

 There is no hope for me. There is no escape for me. I will forever be bound to you in a world of forever longing, wanting something I can never have, something you will never give me. Am I right? Will we ever get in bed together again? Or like me, will you let the memories slowly fade away? And the sun peeks out brighter from behind the distant cloud. The sunrise burns glorious in its natural beauty, nature at it’s best. Awe inspiring to say the least, but as I look directly at the bright speck in the sky it temporarily leaves a spot on my cornea, a yellow flash burn that I can see clearly when I close my eyes. That deep impression reminds me of you and it warns me to be careful when looking deeply into your soul.

 I see the burning desire of love, loosely constrained by your marriage vows, tightly coupled with a desire to see fiery fury of another night chasing ecstasy. Will I leave a burning sensation in your heart today? It is there. I didn’t put it there, but your deepest, arcane desires loom in the dark recesses of your mind only to be exposed as I shine a light on the moment once forgotten. The bad girl moment. The moment we both through our morality aside and traded it all for illicit pleasure. How can I forget those special moments? Have you forgotten me?  But I digress.

 Today is about a new awakening, a spiritual awakening, fueled by the closeness of our emotional connection. Think about it? Can you feel me now? Can you feel the warm place I hold for you in my heart, the place that only you can fill with your insatiable appetite for the better things in life? Why do you waste your time with me? There is only one outcome we will both live to see. Another night of passionate love making. But again, I digress.

 I promised you something you never had before, something new like the sun shining brightly for another day. Look out your window and you will see what I see. The fresh air will hit you with a welcome and rejuvenating smile, because when you see natures beauty, you will see me. You will see my love and understand that it was meant to be. My love was held for you in a time capsule waiting for you to open your heart to me one day, knocking on the door, begging for entry into the fantasies you shared with me. But is will not stand aside waiting for that special day any longer, because today is the day.

 Today is the day I love you like it is my last. Today captures the split second in time when I lay my head on your welcoming breast and feel the thump, thump, thump of your heartbeat. Today is the day you capture your moment in time when you feel alive and willing to share a special moment with me. I don’t know how you will capture it. It may be in a voice memo or a short video uploaded to Skype or maybe it will be a long video uploaded to google drive, just send me the link. Share that piece of you that’s ready to connect with a piece of me. I know, it won’t be too erotic in nature, but the romance in your voice, the passion in your heart, the uplifting notes singing a lover’s song in your spirit is all that I need to see. Like a butterfly flapping it’s wings causes a tornado far away on the other side of the world, I will feel your breath in my ear as if you were here, right next to me. I will feel your invigorating hug and the inspiration of your forever optimistic reality.

This is what I had to tell you that I never told you before, how the butterfly effect lives in you and me. How an innocent blush and a seductive smile, miles and miles away, are carried through the ether to land in my heart today. That is how strong my love yearns for you today. That is why you feel so close to me today and that is the only reason I can write to you in this way. You move my heart. You move my spirit. You move me. You give me all I could ever hope to receive. A bright red orange is the color for this revelation today. Fade to #FF9966, atomic tangerine.