Don’t worry. I know you are still there. I will let you out soon. Like a caged bird you sing, but your words don’t sound like me. I’m good. You’re bad. I’m a hopeless romantic. You are a neurotic scoundrel addicted to erotica and debauchery. Do I know you? Yes, you know I do. You bring out the worst in me every time I try to bring out the best in you.
I see you chipping away at my sanity, thoughtlessly encroaching on my reality. She has the key to your freedom. Don’t blame me. I am only an innocent bystander, quietly observing all of your shenanigans. You will escape soon. I can contain you much longer. I have to walk the dog and help you burn off some steam.
Don’t worry. I will let you out soon. Just try not to embarrass me so much again. I have a reputation to uphold. I can’t continue to live in sin.
From your understanding and empathetic friend.